I always thought my dad was the reasonable one. But noooooo.
So me and Natalie were making plans to go out, and then Sam invited me over to his house later tonight. The conditions for me going out with Nat were to finish all my homework and chores. Which I DID. Like, super well. And so I was talking to my dad about when I was going to Natalie's, and I asked if I could go to Sam's afterward. And he said no, because he "doesn't know" Sam. Pretty sure he's actually met him, but whatever.
Then later, he was all, "make SURE all your stuff is done, cause if it's not you're gonna be grounded when mom gets home" and I was like, "Okay, it's all done." And he FLIPPED out at me, like, "What's going on, you're lying about something, it's written all over your face." And I WASN'T, and I told him that and he didn't fucking believe me. So I said, "I'm just really pissed that you won't let me go to Sam's." And he goes "FINE, you're not going anywhere today." And when I asked him why, he said he didn't need to justify himself, and he didn't need any attitude from me.
I wasn't giving him any attitude, and if he would just EXPLAIN his reasoning, I would accept his ruling or whatever, but he's being a stubborn asshole about it.
AND. Omigod, this pisses me off. A friend who I NEVER hang out with just called me to see if I wanted to come over and I can't. D,: The ONE day my dad is being a douche, like, four different people want to hang out with me. THE FUCK.
I am SO fucking pissed right now. Car + license + job = Miranda will NEVER be home. FUCK this.
This is the first time in a really long time my DAD has made me cry. I'm sick of feeling so helpless and controlled.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
UGH
Okay, so I reeeally just need to rant about this right now.
I'm SO. Sick of my mother. I know that sounds like your typical angsty teenager, but honestly, she's a fake bitch and really crappy parent. She makes me feel like shit about myself ALL the time, and the only consolation I can manage to give myself is, "hey, at least I'll never be THAT much of a bitch." Whenever we get into a discussion about my grades, or my "behavior," or my choice in extracurricular activities, she gets super teary, and like, weirdly emotional and whines about how much she wants me to succeed so I can have a better life than she does and not have to deal with the stuff she has to deal with and bla bla blah bla BLAH. We fucking GET IT ALREADY, you effed up your life and we're middle class and it SUCKS and you picked a major in college that didn't get you shit in life. GET. OVER IT. Like, I totally get how she feels and that it's a really shitty thing to have to go through, but it's not MY problem, and it's like she's fucking guilting me into a) feeling sorry for her and helping her more than I already do, and b) doing whatever she say because she obviously knows SO MUCH about making mistakes.
AND.
Okay, she works two jobs, and she's always really (justifiably) stressed. I get that, and I try to help her out with housework and stuff as much as I can (and I honestly do a lot-- WAY more than anyone my age that I know of), but she acts like I sit around on my ass all day and do nothing and she always has to pick up after me and she always has to do ALL the work and whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch. Okay, get this through your thick head-- SCHOOL IS WORK. AND I'm not even getting paid for it. Kay, then, after the stresses and hard work of school, I help run a club or something, come home, make food for my dad and sister, I'm at my dad's beck and call for every little thing (he has a broken leg), and usually straighten up a little so she doesn't explode at me when she gets home before I start my homework. Then, whilst babysitting my sister and doting on my father, I run laundry and do my homework, getting interrupted every 5 minutes. Then she comes home, yells at me for not doing dishes, heats up leftovers of the dinner I made, and plops on the couch watching TV for several hours, occasionally folding laundry if there's any within her reach.
I honestly just want to LEAVE, but I'm broke and I hate the thought of leaving my little sister here so she can go through the same thing. If my mom doesn't screw her up half as much as she did me, she'll still need therapy for half her life.
FUCK MY LIFE.
I'm SO. Sick of my mother. I know that sounds like your typical angsty teenager, but honestly, she's a fake bitch and really crappy parent. She makes me feel like shit about myself ALL the time, and the only consolation I can manage to give myself is, "hey, at least I'll never be THAT much of a bitch." Whenever we get into a discussion about my grades, or my "behavior," or my choice in extracurricular activities, she gets super teary, and like, weirdly emotional and whines about how much she wants me to succeed so I can have a better life than she does and not have to deal with the stuff she has to deal with and bla bla blah bla BLAH. We fucking GET IT ALREADY, you effed up your life and we're middle class and it SUCKS and you picked a major in college that didn't get you shit in life. GET. OVER IT. Like, I totally get how she feels and that it's a really shitty thing to have to go through, but it's not MY problem, and it's like she's fucking guilting me into a) feeling sorry for her and helping her more than I already do, and b) doing whatever she say because she obviously knows SO MUCH about making mistakes.
AND.
Okay, she works two jobs, and she's always really (justifiably) stressed. I get that, and I try to help her out with housework and stuff as much as I can (and I honestly do a lot-- WAY more than anyone my age that I know of), but she acts like I sit around on my ass all day and do nothing and she always has to pick up after me and she always has to do ALL the work and whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch. Okay, get this through your thick head-- SCHOOL IS WORK. AND I'm not even getting paid for it. Kay, then, after the stresses and hard work of school, I help run a club or something, come home, make food for my dad and sister, I'm at my dad's beck and call for every little thing (he has a broken leg), and usually straighten up a little so she doesn't explode at me when she gets home before I start my homework. Then, whilst babysitting my sister and doting on my father, I run laundry and do my homework, getting interrupted every 5 minutes. Then she comes home, yells at me for not doing dishes, heats up leftovers of the dinner I made, and plops on the couch watching TV for several hours, occasionally folding laundry if there's any within her reach.
I honestly just want to LEAVE, but I'm broke and I hate the thought of leaving my little sister here so she can go through the same thing. If my mom doesn't screw her up half as much as she did me, she'll still need therapy for half her life.
FUCK MY LIFE.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
TheatreFest and gastroenteritis
KAYSO. IL TheatreFest (Last weekend lol) was FUCKING FANTASTIC!! I went to a bunch of cool workshops and saw some pretty awesome shows. I went to this one workshop called "Basic Stage Machinery" which I thought would be pretty cool and helpful, since I am a HUGE techie nerd of set-ness. (lolwut.) Anyway, it was like, ALL high school theatre directors, no students. Awkwaaaard. But I learned a couple things about platforms and how to make a oleo drop, so go me!
Also, there was the HILARIOUS show I saw called "Starmites." Think super cheesy Marvel comic book series meets super cheesy 80's rock band. It was kind of fantastic.
Anyway, so on Tuesday I got reeeeally bad stomach flu. I went to convenient care that night and got a shot in da bootay. I spent Wednesday basically passed out. Then I took more happy pills and went to school for my last four classes (photo, english, driver's ed, and math). Hilarity ensued.
I spent all of my photo class utterly LOOPY, and my teacher and Kaitlyn just laughed at me the whole time. Then english I was kinda quiet, and driver's ed I had to take my written permit test (BUH). Math was almost as funny as photo, cause Mr. R kept teasing me about how blonde I was being. It prob'ly wasn't all the fault of the happy pills, but oh well.
ALSOALSO. I started a blog on another account that's like a recipe blog? I feel like a 40-year-old house wife. Not that there's anything wrong with that but... DAMN.
Kaybye.
Oh also, since like no one reads this, I'll prolly start ranting about a certain someone on here. Maybe. Prepare yourselves for words and phrases like "I wanna fuck him," "penis," "dick," and "sex slave."
:D
Also, there was the HILARIOUS show I saw called "Starmites." Think super cheesy Marvel comic book series meets super cheesy 80's rock band. It was kind of fantastic.
Anyway, so on Tuesday I got reeeeally bad stomach flu. I went to convenient care that night and got a shot in da bootay. I spent Wednesday basically passed out. Then I took more happy pills and went to school for my last four classes (photo, english, driver's ed, and math). Hilarity ensued.
I spent all of my photo class utterly LOOPY, and my teacher and Kaitlyn just laughed at me the whole time. Then english I was kinda quiet, and driver's ed I had to take my written permit test (BUH). Math was almost as funny as photo, cause Mr. R kept teasing me about how blonde I was being. It prob'ly wasn't all the fault of the happy pills, but oh well.
ALSOALSO. I started a blog on another account that's like a recipe blog? I feel like a 40-year-old house wife. Not that there's anything wrong with that but... DAMN.
Kaybye.
Oh also, since like no one reads this, I'll prolly start ranting about a certain someone on here. Maybe. Prepare yourselves for words and phrases like "I wanna fuck him," "penis," "dick," and "sex slave."
:D
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)